“The Tuxedo” lived up to all my expectations for a movie with such a lackluster and unimaginative title. It was dull and boring. The only thing that kept me from walking out of the theater within the first few minutes was Jennifer Love Hewitt, who despite a completely unconvincing role as a government agent/scientist, kept at least this male viewer’s attention with her repeated cleavage shots throughout the movie. What can I say? I’m a guy. It’s the little things that count. Unfortunately nothing else, from the deer peeing in the river to the ever so predictable ending, managed to keep my eyelids from drooping to depths I never knew existed.
In this film, Jimmy Tong (Jackie Chan) is a cab driver who is offered a job as a chauffeur to millionaire agent Clark Devlin (Jason Isaacs). When Devlin is injured in a freak skateboard bomb incident, Jimmy must take it upon himself to stop the evil villain, wearing Devlin’s special tuxedo and kicking some bad guy butt. Now Jimmy must team up with his rookie agent partner (Hewitt) to save the world from a deadly case of dehydration.
What really got me the most in this film was Chan’s character. In all honesty I felt let down by Chan. When I go to see his movies, it’s mostly for the fighting sequences. However, these were few and far between and just lacking in the spectacular category. To top it all off was the annoying “I don’t understand anything” role that Jimmy Tong is basically portrayed as. How can anyone honestly believe that this chauffeur can instantly go from being a cabby to saving the world, all the while not even know what it is he is supposed to be doing?
As equally unimpressive was the other lead role of Jennifer Love Hewitt. Hewitt plays Del Blaine, a scientist who makes an offhand remark at an autopsy of another agent and is suddenly given a field assignment opposite the famous Clark Devlin. Here’s the thing: this is completely unbelievable, and coupled with the huge words that just role off Hewitt’s tongue, completely ruin the only reason to go and watch her in the first place. It’s hard for me to discern whether Blaine is supposed to be a smart, sophisticated, serious character, or the vulnerable and attractive character Hewitt always seems to play.
Oh, by the way, did I mention that Chan’s and Hewitt’s characters were the bright spots of the movie? I just don’t see how this one slipped through the cracks of Hollywood’s strict code of integrity and went into production. No part of this film seems to fit together. The cast of characters include the diabolical water mogul and resident bad guy with ugly looking chops, the less than competent, but oh-so-comical mad scientist, the bad girl agent who can put on make-up in a speeding out-of-control car, and of course Agent Clark Devlin who we never actually see living up to his top agent billing. This film is horrible. Don’t even waste the money when “The Tuxedo” comes out on video. If the cast of this film knows any better, they should buy up all copies and burn them to save any further embarrassment.