It’s 6:45 p.m. and you look at your watch. You’re holding two tickets in your hand, the movie starts in five minutes, but she’s nowhere to be found. You look around to see if she’s in a last-second rush into the complex. She told you that she’d be here at 6:00, but that she might be running late. You call her on the cell phone for the millionth time to leave another message, and suddenly it’s her on the other line: “Oh, I’m sorry, it’s been a really long day and I just want to watch TV at home. Sorry.”
Dating is a skill that some people try to learn and others try to teach. The experts tell you that you should pursue women, make them feel special, buy gifts, wine and dine them, and eventually they’ll be attracted to you.
Guys are always told that women like nice guys, but I don’t see girls with nice guys usually.
Why is it that some women seem very interested initially, only to become uninterested suddenly? Why do some women agree to go out on a date when they never intend to do so in the first place? Why do some guys get all the luck and other guys get left in the dust? Why do women utter the phrase, “Let’s just be friends,” after only one date?
If you’ve found yourself asking some of these questions, you’re not alone. After asking a few of these myself, and crashing and burning in my own right, I decided to look into the subject. Now I am certainly no expert (just ask my friends), but I figured there had to be a better way.
So I started asking a few of my friends who I know have luck with women about the subject. Here are a few things that I’ve gleaned from them: Be yourself; it’s so much harder pretending to be someone else because eventually the true you surfaces, and in some cases this can be very bad, especially if you’ve set the tone that you’re cooler than you really are. You can filter out many bad dating experiences if you act like you from the beginning, then you don’t have to change a thing. Also, be confident.
Always meet new people. Sometimes the best way to meet the ladies is to have a genuine desire to meet new people in general. This will create the appearance of being a person who’s great to be around – girls will find this appealing. Also, you can get phone numbers.
Give yourself options. So you meet a girl at a bar, pub or club, and you want to hang out with her. What happens? You realize it’s not working for you and weeks have passed. Basically you’ve wasted your time focusing on one girl who wouldn’t have the time of day for you. This happens to a lot of guys. The best way to fix this is to get over it and keep your options open. Keep meeting new people and getting phone numbers.
Avoid the phone. Avoid staying on the phone too long! This is true especially for when you’re trying to set up that first date. Phone calls are better used, initially, for setting up dates and confirming them.
Staying under five minutes for a conversation is a good thing. This way you can still shoot the breeze, but you won’t be running out of things to say. Oh, and you can end the conversation yourself – that’ll work in your favor. And in the event that you don’t get a call back (this happens), don’t worry about it. Wait a few days before attempting another call. Besides, if you’re meeting new people, you won’t have time to care about it.
Now you’ve finally managed to get a date, What are things you can do to make it as painless as possible? Well here are just a few tips that I’ve picked up: First now where you’re going. This sounds easy enough, but it’s very crucial. If you act indecisive it’s not going to bode well for you. Instead of just asking your date where she would like to go, pick places in advance, and then give her options. This way, you look more assertive than the guy who just follows his date around.
It seems like most guys are doomed to pay for everything. This doesn’t have to be the case. Instead, remember that you’re only hanging out with this person and they can pay for their own food, movies, etc.
There’s no shame in splitting the bill. If a guy pays for everything all the time then the girl may realize that she’s going to be getting free meals for a while. This is not to say that all girls are like this, but beware, they are out there!
One of my friends tells me to have intelligent conversations on dates, but not to over do it. Conversations are best when they are light and fun. Don’t talk about marriage, kids and the future on the first date! This is scary to a lot of women. Boring conversation will make your chances of a second date virtually impossible.
Also, a compliment here and there is fine, but too much complimenting can make a date go sour quickly. Nothing is worse than a guy who can’t stop idolizing his date because then the girl will realize that she can do better.
The end of the date: When you conclude the first date, don’t assume that anything is going to happen. If you had fun that is all that matters. Give her a call a few days later and talk about how much fun you had. Set up another date if you wish. The point is, if you don’t act desperate then this will be noticed, and the girl will find that attractive.
So what’s there to learn in all of this? You really don’t have to be an expert to know about dating. It’s all about acting naturally and having fun. If you step up your game then you may find yourself having more to do than just watching TV on a Saturday night. Stay tuned for the next article, “The Friendship-zone.”