1. Football parties are for football fans. Inevitably, there are always people who seep out of the woodwork at the mention of a Super Bowl party who have no interest whatsoever in either team playing, or the sport itself. More than 130 million Americans watched the Superbowl last year and I doubt most of those 130 million were watching the NFL during its regular season. These folks are only there for the possibility of free beer, nachos and to socialize. Letting the football illiterate hang around during an important game runs the risk of having to explain terms like “first down” or “Matt Hasselbeck” and missing some important play in the process. To rid yourself of this problem, just mention casually, “Hey, I hear there’s a Gilmore Girls marathon playing at the exact time as this game.” If that doesn’t work, try using chloroform.
2. The American Institute of Food Distribution claims that Super Bowl Sunday is America’s second largest day of food consumption, surpassed only by Thanksgiving. So while you’re feeding massive amounts of people massive amounts of food, make sure it’s appropriate to the occasion. A good rule of thumb is that if it can lead to heart disease or adult-onset diabetes, then it’s okay to eat. If you can afford it, rent an industrial-sized deep-fryer and let all your hors d’oeuvres spend a few minutes in there before serving them to your hungry guests. Find creative new ways to make party food even more unhealthy. 12-foot sub: good. 12-foot sub covered in nacho cheese: even better.
3. If you’re going to have delicious high-calorie foods available, why not wash it down with a delicious, high-calorie beverage- beer. Beer and watching football go hand in hand, because drinking enough of it over time provides the user with a convenient beer gut, or “snack-holding platform.” A low-brow occasion such as this calls for a low-brow beer. I suggest Miller High Life, Olympia, Keystone, Rainier or Busch Light. Drinking games are easy enough to invent, but its best just to play the “drink as much beer as you can” game and focus on the game at hand.
4. At every football party, there’s always someone who holds no real allegiance to any team and will therefore cheer for whoever everybody else isn’t cheering for, simply to piss off everybody else. It’s just annoying. In short, don’t bother inviting any Steelers fans.
1. Chex mix! Chex mix is the universal Super Bowl Food! Grab some Chex, pretzels, peanuts and whatever else you fancy into a bowl. Mix in Worcestershire sauce and bake until golden!
2. Beer! Beer is a Super Bowl must for the 21+ Seahawks fan. Pick up a pack of Keystone Light at the TAJ and enjoy. Just make sure everyone has had their drinks after the half-time show. If another Janet Jackson nipple-show-off incident occurs, at least everyone will be able to remember it enough the next day to laugh at it over lunch in the PUB.
3. Decorations! Get out those blue, green and white streamers you’ve shoved in the junk drawer, because you’ll need them to set a fun, party atmosphere! Cheer on the Seahawks with party favors such as clappers and party poppers to celebrate touchdowns!
4. Games! Prepare a football pool (check the Internet for how to make one). Have fun prizes ready at the end of every quarter. Check the Dollar Store for funny gifts to give the winner (Some ideas: Football trivia cards, football memorabilia or tickets to a sports game).
5. Gamble! This may sound a bit sketchy, but put a couple pennies down on silly bets. Examples of bets are “First player to touch another players butt,” “First coach to spit while yelling” or “Which team has the first injury?” The bets will keep your party guests laughing and having a good time.
For the clueless student throwing a Super Bowl party, these tips can lead you to a successful get together. Make sure your guests don’t annoy each other. One Seahawks fan said, “First and foremost, any negativity towards the Seahawks will be annoying; you can’t ruin the karma of the game. People who don’t understand the game are also pretty annoying with their dumb questions.” One idea for avoiding guest conflict is to invite people who have a similar level of interest in watching the game. If you know a couple of your closest friends follow football as closely as they follow professional juggling, then perhaps reconsider inviting your boyfriend’s best buddy that was planning on attending the party head-to-toe in Seahawks garb (With a portable radio to listen to the game on the sports network during TV commercials).
Above all, remember that your party is meant to be fun; don’t take the game too seriously, enjoy the munchies and time with your friends.