It’s funny how we let our major define us as a person. The first question that we usually ask when we meet someone new is, “What’s your major?” or “What are you studying?”
To some extent, it also determines who we hang out with. Now while most people have a large variety of friends to choose from, except for those who play Dungeons and Dragons, it seems that those with the same major tend to congregate together. That means that parties have a different flavor to them depending on the type of major involved. It’s a rather interesting phenomenon, a sort of cross-section of society.
And now since journalism isn’t a real major, and after that comment I will probably fail my major, I’ve had the opportunity to see quite a few of these “major” parties. Here’s the types of parties that I’ve discovered.
Theater Major Party: It’s on par with Fight Club. The first rule of Theater Major Parties is that you don’t talk about them.
You’re in a brotherhood and sisterhood of people that have survived the heaviest amount of drinking and questionable decisions known to man.
I mean, these people get in front of large groups of people and do crazy stuff professionally. Putting them in a party setting is like introducing Rodney Stuckey to beer pong- A lights-out match made in heaven.
Recreational Management Party: These people are pros at managing their recreation, which means that these are the best-organized and well-stocked parties in Cheney. Just be sure to sign in at the door and leave your keys with the valet.
Don’t worry about the tunes, they have a pre-loaded dance mix that was created after a survey was sent out to all the students of EWU to determine what their favorite music was.
The beer is color coded from the most potent to the weakest so that you won’t get mixed up when your vision gets a little blurry.
Accounting Party: Oh, scratch this one.
Music Party: I hear that the Bare Naked Ladies are a big hit at the music major parties. Guaranteed, someone is going to bust out a tuba and have a horn off.
Who can play the most kick-ass tuba riff this side of the Cascades? It’s the “Devil went down to Georgia” kind of musical face-offs that we can only dream of.
Electronic Film and Media Party: Everything usually goes really well at these parties until people start arguing over which was the better Star Wars movie- Return of the Jedi or Revenge of the Sith? I saw a guy take a broken bottle to the gut when he said that Chewie couldn’t hold a candle to Jar-Jar. He probably deserved it.
Education Party: Hey I understand the practicality of it all, but do I really have to raise my hand before I can talk? Seriously.
Rodney Stuckey Party: Yeah, he has his own major.
Religious Studies: Again, scratch this one.
History Party: There’s nothing quite like getting drunk and talking about the Allied assault on Germany in the spring of 1944. It’s the sort of deep conversation that gives you hope about mankind.
Psychology Party: People really mess with your head at these gigs.
Now this is just for the campus of EWU. If you move down to Gonzaga or Wazzu, the results at these parties may be completely different. For example, I hear that the religious studies program down in Pullman can host a mean kegger where they actually turn Busch Light into wine. Fantastic!
So if any of these parties intrigue you, I recommend changing your major immediately.