Finally, someone exposed Prince for the true pervert he is. Never mind that he wrote lyrics like “23 positions in a one-night-stand,” “cream, get on top,” or “ahh, p—y control, oh.” The truly disgusting part is he sings these lyrics with a giant strapped-on guitar. The brilliant someone was the Daily News television critic, David Bianculli, who called Prince’s performance “a rude-looking shadow show” that “looked embarrassingly rude, crude and unfortunately placed.”
Other bloggers have condemned Bianculli’s sage comments as nothing short of retarded (by using the word retarded, I am in no way attempting to disparage the differently-abled; I am simply saying that some bloggers have questioned Bianculli’s ability to think as a rational human being).
I fully support Bianculli’s position that Prince’s guitar, when projected onto a billowing screen, looked exactly like a giant, deformed penis and it disgusted me (I am in no way making light of those unfortunate souls who must live their daily lives with giant, deformed penises).Furthermore, I found a few other aspects of the Super Bowl offensive.
First, I would like to quote a pre-game Internet post from Vic Carucci, national editor of NFL.com, titled “IT’S WET, BUT PLAYABLE,” “The report from the field is that, despite the rain, the grass still looks very tight…”
Oh no you didn’t, Vic. I honestly threw up a little in my mouth when I read it.
Why is veteran sports journalist Lesley Visser forced to carry around that large phallic microphone? Every time I see her shove that thing into someone’s face, I say three Hail Marys.
In a commercial for General Motors, a poor, quality obsessed, little robot dreamed that he jumped off a bridge after he dropped a bolt. I honestly felt horrible for anyone who has ever dreamed about committing suicide.