There are those who try in life and fail miserably. Very often, these efforts can be equated to the metaphor of a baseball player swinging as a pitch crosses the plate. Sometimes those swings result in a home-run, but other times it’s just a strike-out.
Swing 1: Diamond Cabaret, strip club in Colorado, for inventive promotions.
How do you celebrate the death of a terrorist leader? For Denver-area residents in the military, Diamond Cabaret sent out texts with an offer that’s hard to refuse. In honor of Osama bin Laden’s death, anyone with a military ID could get in for no cover charge and receive free draft beers for the day.
While they received attention for unknowningly texting the number of a 13-year old boy, I like the inventiveness of capitalizing on such an occasion with a significant promotion.
Since bin Laden’s death obviously doesn’t end the war on terror or ultimately affect the lives of the troops in any way, kudos to Diamond Cabaret for at least trying to provide a promotion a soldier, airman or Marine might actually want to get in on.
Swing 2: Don Gorske, Big Mac lover
Gorske celebrated an unusual milestone Tuesday. He ate his 25,000th Big Mac. He evidently eats two Big Macs per day and upon traveling to another location, packs two Big Macs in his suitcase in case a McDonald’s is unavailable to him.
Why he travels to Antarctica, the only place one could travel without encountering a McDonald’s, is unclear, he certainly challenges the claims by documentarians that eating an exclusively McDonald’s-based diet is deadly. At 57, his cholesterol is considerably lower than the average 50-year old man. And it’s not because he eats well otherwise — according to his wife, because he doesn’t take vitamins or eat things not named Big Mac, she encourages him to eat parfaits when he stocks up for the week.
His OCD helped him keep track of his victims — he still has 10,000 of the clamshell wrappers that encase each Big Mac neatly sorted in his house.
Swing 3: Panera’s “pay-what-you-can” restaurants
Panera, the St. Louis-based chain, has started opening a few charity-funding restaurants, where people can pay what they can afford. Instead of prices, they post “recommended funding” amounts.
According to early returns, the restaurant is taking in 80 percent of the money a normal Panera would, which allows them to donate a few thousand dollars a month to feed local families.
The restaurants, which employ people who might not otherwise be considered employable, also provides job training to at risk youth and gives them jobs .
Kudos to them for thinking outside the box and helping out their community in the process.
Miss 1: Salt Lake City drug dealers
A Salt Lake City woman was arrested after trying to buy $10 worth of cocaine from an undercover agent. The problem here is that she only had two dollars and a salad from Olive Garden in a To Go box.
She offered the salad in exchange for the drugs.
Ordinarily this wouldn’t be bad, but the fact that she made this offer makes me think something like this worked in the past. I know that Utah is a bit different, but c’mon, drug dealers, have a little self respect. Those salads are free at Olive Garden.
Miss 2: New York City’s pedestrian safety program
New York City is installing a new type of crosswalk light. If a car approaches the crosswalk at speeds above the posted limit, the regular walking person icon will be replaced by a skeleton to remind them that their choices can be lethal to pedestrians.
The only problem with this is that a skeleton icon would be really, really awesome to see and that I (and I’m sure there are others like me) would be compelled to speed in order to see the skeleton light.
I might even double the speed limit in the hopes that it will register and show me a zombie light.