It’s quite clear that the end of the world is coming up this Saturday. Our leaders have prepared for our impending doom; it’s time that everyone else start acting like the Rapture is upon us instead of burying their heads in the sand.
The shuttle launch this week was timed perfectly. We needed to send more of our best and brightest into space to ensure that there would be more people available to repopulate the Earth in our absence.
As those of us left behind approach our inevitable deaths, there are a few loose ends we need to tie up before the end of the world.
1. Call your family members, tell them that you love them and while you may have had differences of opinion and while they may have been less than perfect (some more than others), they have helped to make us what you are. If your family members are in jail or have wronged you in some way, forgive them for their trespasses Hate doesn’t pass well into an afterlife.
2. Give away the possessions that define you. You can’t take it with you. If someone has been asking to use those things that you own, let him or her have them. Whether a rich man has a smaller chance of getting into heaven than camels do passing through needles’ eyes or not, it’s not going to do you any harm to get rid of things that exert control over you.
3. Skipping the last couple days of school will help you to enjoy the final days of good weather. Assignments hold no meaning when the world ends. And hell, school isn’t the end-all, be-all that people make it out to be. Bill Gates never graduated college. Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy’s, didn’t even finish high school. Focusing on such a short-term goal at the cost of peace of mind as the world ends is just going to make you feel even dumber as the sky darkens and the days end.
4. Do something you enjoy. If you’re one of those people that is constantly trying to help others and are never able to do anything you want to do, now is the perfect time. Experience one or two days of satisfaction by doing something for your own sake.
Taking these steps and accepting your quickly approaching death will make you appreciate those final few days even more, especially since the end being on a Saturday screws up your whole weekend. Hell, even if the world doesn’t end, you might just find out that the things you felt were so important didn’t really matter so much.