“How many years of ninja training do your people go through?” I asked while she stared at me blankly, processing the six parking tickets I received in the last two weeks, and replied, “I don’t think that they do ninja training.” I was skeptical. After all, the parking services department and their crack squad of elite parking lot commandos, is, by far, the most effective department that I have seen on this campus.
In the 1970s, so-called “environmentalists” successfully derailed the nuclear movement. While they were celebrating, coal, oil and natural gas plants were built, ensuring that the world’s forecast is hot, polluted and cancerous. While environmentalists have been busy putting Band-Aids on injured birds in their tree-huts, grown-ups have been at work developing solutions for the looming energy crisis and future global warming challenges that will affect every living organism on earth.
The Eastern women’s soccer team is looking to win the Big Sky Conference this year. Friday, Sept. 26 at 4 p.m., the team will get their chance to prove their desire to win when they face off against the University of Idaho in Cheney.
The organization Law Enforcement Against Prohibition (LEAP) has recently achieved some notoriety for their efforts to legalize drugs. This communist gang of police officers makes outrageous claims that “The War on Drugs” is somehow similar to the unsuccessful alcohol prohibition in the early part of the last century.
I’ll admit, most of the time I don’t read the news. This is mostly due to the fact that it is written by lying dogs that will be put to justice in the afterlife for their treachery. However, I found a recent Iranian press release that got me incensed hotter than the passion of a thousand fiery suns.